Further than you want Inappropriate behaviour could be all kinds of things: • A boy who touches you on the dance floor • A girl that shows a sexy photo of you to everyone • A boy who asks you to send a sexy photo. • Your boyfriend or girlfriend who wants to have sex when you don’t want to If you go further than you really want, you’ll regret it later. Usually you can prevent experiences like these by making things very clear. And if someone won’t accept that you’ve drawn the line? Don’t feel guilty. Talk about it to someone you trust to make sure it doesn't worry you later. LINDA, AGE 14: ‘I went to the cinema with a boy. In the dark he put his hand on my leg. I didn’t like that but didn’t want to make a big deal of it. Everyone was quiet, of course, so I couldn’t say loudly ‘I don’t want this’. Later I thought: I could have pushed his hand away, no one would have noticed.’ DAVID, AGE 17: ‘I once persuaded a girl to have sex with me. Afterwards I thought: I didn’t really worry about whether she wanted to. Now I try to do that by simply asking. If you both want to, it’s much better.’ What is a groomer? A groomer is a boy who deliberately goes out with a girl so that after a while she’ll earn money for him as a sex worker. Groomers often go looking for girls outside schools, on the street or through the internet. Mostly it works like this: he pretends to be in love with her. Then he tries to win her trust. After that he pressurises her, forcing her to work as a sex worker or in the drug trade. Groomers tend to go for girls who are feeling insecure, unhappy, misunderstood or lonely. In the Netherlands, a groomer is called a ‘loverboy’, but that’s hardly an appropriate word. After all, a loverboy in not a boy who’s in love. What now? If you think the boyfriend of one of your friends is a groomer, try and find help. You can talk to someone you trust, like your parents, a teacher or the police. What is sexting? Sexting is sending nude pictures or videos of yourself. Sexting can be fun and exciting. But beware: someone can show your pictures to others. Someone can also forward your pictures. This can happen by accident, or to bully you. It is very difficult to remove the pictures once they are online. And so? Sexting always happens in good faith. When you receive a sexy picture or video, never forward them and do not show it to anyone else. Did you get in trouble? Tell it to someone you trust: your parents, the mentor or a teacher. Or go to sense.info for advice. The word sexting is a combination of the words ‘sex’ and ‘texting’ Important to know! It is punishable by law to spread sexual images online of people younger than 18. LONG LIVE LOVE 21

24 Online Touch Home

You need flash player to view this online publication